Pioneering

`Abdu'l-Bahá told a Bahá'í to prepare to go to India to teach the Faith. So he prepared by studying Indian culture, languages, etc. But at the last minute, the Master changed his mind and decided to send him to America.

"But I thought I was going to India," said the Pioneer.

`Abdu'l-Bahá answered, "So did Columbus."

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A reader commented that this is a true story!

The Ubiquitous Lightbulb Question

Q. How many Baha'is does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A. Baha'is don't do that. They teach the light bulb,
and if it wants to transform, it'll change itself!

It's a Two Letter Name!

Q: What is the name of the bird in the Tablet of Ahmad?


A: "Lo, the nightingale..."

Gotta Ask the Folks!

Q: What's a Baha'i fruit that a couples in love should never eat?
A: Cantaloupe

The Vet

An old WWII vet went to his local watering hole once a week on Fridays and ordered three beers. He did this every week for some years, and became a familiar sight to the bartender. One evening, curiosity got the best of the bartender, and he asked the old man, "why do you come here and get three beers every single Friday?". The old man laughed and said "well, when I was in WWII, my two best buddies and I agreed that wherever we were, we would get three beers every Friday- one for each of us. That way, we always remember one another." The bartender smiled, thanked the old man for the explanation, and said goodbye to him as he left the bar. The next week, the old man walked in as usual, climbed onto his favorite barstool, and said hello to the bartender, who'd already set aside three beers. "Actually, said the veteran, "this week, I will only be needing two beers." The bartender was stunned by the change in routine and stuttered "b-b-but why only two?". With a smile on his face, the old man replied, "Because I'm a Baha'i now!"

Two Travelling Teachers

Two Bahá'í travelling teachers were in a small town, looking for a place to stay. The only place for rent was the basement of an old house that had a reputation for being haunted. They took the place and moved in. The neighbors were curious to see how long they would be able to stay in the haunted basement. A week passed, then two. The travelling teachers showed no signs of moving out. Finally, someone came and asked them how they could bear to stay, and weren't they afraid of the ghosts? "Oh no," one of the teachers replied, "We're Bahá'ís." "What does being Bahá'ís have to do with it?" the questioner inquired. "Well, you see, Bahá'u'lláh said, 'Fear not abasement...'"

Show Me the Plastic!

Q. How did `Abdu'l-Bahá finance his trip across America and Europe?

A. With Master-Card!

Just a Pain!

Q.Why don't Bahá'ís get headaches?

A. Because Bahá'u'lláh gave them Tablets!

Old School Fasteners

Q. What did they have before Bahá'í buttons were invented?

A. Bábí pins!

Jungle Dinner

A Bahá'í pioneer was trespassing through the jungle of some tropical country, when suddenly he found himself surrounded by naked men with bones through their noses, waving spears. They tied him up and threw him in a stew-pot, then started piling firewood underneath. Drums sounded. In desperation the pioneer began reciting the "remover of difficulties" prayer. Suddenly the drumming stopped. One cannibal looked at another and said "Hey guys! I think we've just found the ninth member of our Local Spiritual Assembly!"

The Unexpected Visitor

'Abdu'l-Baha' and his secretary were working late at night transcribing a tablet, when they heard sharp rapping sounds coming from the front room. The assistant rose and answered the door. A disheveled man standing on the threshold suddenly exclaimed in Farsi, “I think I’m a moth, and I need to see 'Abdu'l-Baha'.”

“His Holiness cannot be disturbed” the transcriber said.

Once again the intruder exclaimed, “I think I’m a moth, and I need to see 'Abdu'l-Baha'”

“But”, said the shaken assistant, “We moved into this house just yesterday. In all of Shiraz, you could not know he was here. How did you find the Master?”

“Are you serious?” replied the man. “Your light was on.”

Three Departed Souls at the Gates of Heaven

A Christian, Muslim, and Bahá'í all die at the same time. They come upon the gates of Heaven. The angel Gabriel greets them and says, "To enter Heaven you must answer one question correctly. If you get it right, you can enter. If you get it wrong, you will fall into a fiery abyss, never to approach God, the Almighty".

The Christian steps up, and Gabriel asks, "Who is the most recent Manifestation of God on earth?" The Christian confidently responds, "Jesus Christ, the Son of God!". Suddenly the ground opens and swallows him up.

The Muslim approaches, and Gabriel asks, "Who is the most recent Manifestation of God on earth?" The Muslim fearlessly responds "Muhammad, the Apostle of God". Suddenly the ground opens and swallows him up.

Finally, the eager Bahá'í steps up, and Gabriel asks, "Spell Huqúqu’lláh."